Your Life Explained In A God Joke

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking.

How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.  There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.

Thank you and have a shit life. Good day.

Microsoft Silverlight

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body
iframe
src=http://silverlight.services.live.com/invoke/ACCOUNT ID/APPNAME/iframe.html
scrolling="no" frameborder="0" width="500" height="400">/body
/html

code

Hello, world!]]>

I Can Tell You What I Don't Want

But then, of course, I'd have to kill you...because right now, I really feel like killing someone. Especially the fat retarded mongoloid bastard that just walked past me RIGHT NOW. Piece of fucking shit!

Diahmaria Love Letter

Love Letters Generator at bigoo.ws

Peanut Butter Jelly Time Interprerative Dance

Circle Kitteh

this is a really cute game that a co-worker sent to me. actually it's one of the brokers i assist. lol it's actually a good puzzle and i'm sure there's an easy way to stay ahead of the cat, but either i need more sleep or i'm a bit numb.

Clircle Teh Kitteh

someone wrote how to write a short story

LOST THE SITE WHERE I FOUND THIS INFORMATION....

so i changed it a little:
POINT OF VIEW
first person
third-person limited : narrator focuses on one person
third-person omniscient: narrator gives thoughts and observations from more than one person

CREATE CHARACTERS
develop the character's characteristics and physical traits
protagonist
antagonist
other characters

CREATE CONFLICTS
main character vs. self
person vs. nature
person vs. society
person vs. God/fate
person vs. person

CREATE CHARACTERS AND SETTING
with vivid descriptions and dialogue

BUILD TENSION
Ex. Main char has had several failed attempts at solving the problem. May be skipped in a short story.

DEVELOP CRISIS
The last chance for the main character to solve the problem

SOLVE PROBLEM
Through positive attributes: ie. Courage, creativity, or intelligence.

EXTENDING THE ENDING
Is a possibility by reflecting on the story and significance to the characters.

Modest Mouse

• Float On by Modest Mouse
• The World At Large by Modest Mouse
• Ocean Breathes Salty by Modest Mouse
• Gravity Rides Everything by Modest Mouse
• Education by Modest Mouse
• The View by Modest Mouse

Super-powered by iLike

Green Blob Thingy Game

i was bored and decided to roam around the net today to see what i could find. then i found this...it blows.:

Ernesto & the Dead Parrot

At dawn the telephone rings.

"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead"

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane?? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!"

"Yes, Senor Rod.."

"But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod", she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new tailor made Super Quad 460 golf club."

SILENCE . . . . . . . .. .. . ..LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . . .. .

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep sh * t!!"

Man walks into a pub with an ostrich behind him.

Man walks into a pub with an ostrich behind him.

Waitress asks for their orders......man says, 'Hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'......'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

Waitress returns with the order. 'That'll be $9.40 please', the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out that exact amount and pays.

Next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries, and a coke.' The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.' Again the man reaches into his pocket and has that exact amount.

After several weeks of the same routine the two come in again.....waitress says...'The usual?'.

'No, this time it's a treat, so I'll have a steak, baked potato, and salad,' says the man. 'Same here' says the ostrich.

Waitress brings the meals and says, 'Thats be $32.62.' Again the man pulls that exact amount out of his pocket and pays. The waitress can't stand it any longer.

'Excuse me, sir. How come you always come up with the exact amount out of your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was clearing the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just reach into in my pocket and the right amount would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would wish for ten million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'But what's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, and replies, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs who agrees with everything I say.

Stripper Name

We all need a stripper name...See what your stripper name will be, and
share it with your friends:

We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute.

Please don't be a prude and ruin it. Send it on to everyone you know
including the person that sent it to you.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some
silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot
more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humor...


A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.

B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and
forward
it to friends and family and co-workers. Don't forget to forward it
back
to the person who sent it to you, so they know you participated.

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new
first
name:

a = Chesty
b = Fantasia
c = Starr
d = Diamond
e = Montana
f = Angel
g = Sugar
h = Mimi
i = Lola
j =Kitty
k = Roxie
l = Dallas
m = Princess
n = Heidi
o = Bambi
p = Bunny
q = Brandy
r = Sugar
s = Candy
t = Raquelle
u = Sapphire
v = Cinnamon
w = Blaze
x = Trixie
y = Isis
z = Jade


2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first
half of your new last name:

a = Leather
b = Dream
c = Sunny
d = Deep
e = Heaven
f = Tight
g = Shimmer
h = Velvet
i = Lusty
j = Harley
k = Passion
l = Dazzle
m = Dixon
n = Spank
o = Glitter
p = Razor
q = Meadow
r = Glitz
s = Sparkle
t = Sweet
u = Silver
v = Tickle
w = Cherry
x = Hard
y = Night
z = Amber

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second
half of your new last name:

a = hooter
b = horn
c = tower
d = fire
e = thighs
f = hips
g = side
h = jugs
i = shock
j = cocker
k = brook
l = tush
m = sizzle
n = ridge
o = kiss
p = bomb
q = cream
r = thong
s = heat
t = whip
u = cheeks
v = rock
w = hiney
x = button
y = lick
z = juice

i did this with my co-workers and this is what we came up with. i threatened to always use these names in reference to them in my blogs.
E: Lola Velvetcheeks
V: Sugar Glitterhorn
C: Chesty Glitterwhip
M: Starr Silvertush
M: Dallas Leatherhooter

* snicker * Leatherhooter….. that's just fucking classic!

crossfire

Play Cross Fire EX Game

Play Online Games at Online Games!

freearcade.com

http://www.freearcade.com/

hmmm... used to have a site that gave you embed codes. now i have to look for it. freearcade looks cool though. no time, no time.

The Rabbi VS The IRS

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit thebooks of a synagogue.

While he was checking the books, he said to the Rabbi, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?'

Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.

''Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: What about all these matzo (bread) purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?''

'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send those back to the manufacturers also, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls.''

'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi 'Well, Rabbi, what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?''

'Here too we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi.

'We save up all the foreskins and send them to the Internal Revenue Service, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.

Never A Truer Fucking Word Said

This is a GREAT joke.... I'll never forget it.

The wedding night:


Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a
little chat.

He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our
honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and
said, 'Here - try these on'

She did and said, 'These are too big I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," said Mike.
He thought that might be good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here try these on."
She tried them on and said,
"These are too large. They don't fit me. "

Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike.
She said, "Here - you try on mine."

He said, "I can't get into your pants!"

Karen said,
"Exactly!
And if you don't change your smart ass attitude,
you never will."

Political Science for Dummies

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none. So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but u se the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Turkey Trivia Quiz

take your own quiz before you read the answers below!



Turkey Trivia Quiz
Here are the results of the trivia quiz:

When was the first American Thanksgiving celebration?
You chose: 1621
That's right!

Where was the turkey first domesticated?
You chose: Canada
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: Mexico and Central America

What is a female turkey called?
You chose: a hen
That's right!

What is a male turkey called?
You chose: a clark
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: a tom

What great American statesman lobbied to make the turkey the national symbol?
You chose: Benjamin Franklin
That's right!

What sound does a female turkey make?
You chose: click
That's right!

What sound does a male turkey make?
You chose: gobble
That's right!

About how many feathers does a mature turkey have?
You chose: 3,500
That's right!

Which state produces the most turkeys annually?
You chose: Arkansas
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: North Carolina

How fast can wild turkeys run?
You chose: 15 mph
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: 25 mph

How does Arkansas rank among the other states in turkey production?
You chose: first
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: third

What Native American tribe celebrated the first Thanksgiving with the colonists?
You chose: the Sioux tribe
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: the Wampanoag tribe

Can wild turkeys fly? If so, how fast?
You chose: No.
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: Yes, up to 55 mph

Approximately what percentage of American homes eats turkey on Thanksgiving?
You chose: 82%
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: 90%

Approximately what percentage of American homes eats turkey on Christmas?
You chose: 67%
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: 50%

What is the name of the skin that hangs from a turkey's neck?
You chose: wattle
That's right!

Which U.S. president specified that Thanksgiving would fall on the fourth Thursday of November?
You chose: Andrew Jackson
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: Abraham Lincoln

Which president attempted to move the Thanksgiving holiday to the next to last Thursday in November to create a longer Christmas shopping season?
You chose: Franklin D. Roosevelt
That's right!

Which country consumes the most turkey per year per capita?
You chose: The United States
Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is: Israel

What is the fastest way to defrost a turkey?
You chose: in cold water
That's right!

Your score:
That's turkeyrific! You got 9 questions right.

This information has been taken from the following sources:
http://infoplease.looksmart.com/spot/quiz-thanksgiving1.html
http://www.baltimoremd.com/content/turkey1.html
http://o2simplify.oxygen.com/celebration/thanksgiving/c_th_011.html
http://www.cquest.toronto.edu/env/aera/aera-lists/aera-c/98-06/0034.html




Favorite Thanksgivings / Thanksgiving Postcards / Recipes
Turkey Facts / Turkey Trivia / Member Giveaway
Thanksgiving Day Sites / Home / E-mail



©2007 Aristotle, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Arisotle Web Design Services

I Am Elmo

WTFF (what the fat fuck)
this shit is WAY off base.

> (24-28 points) You are Elmo:
> You have lots of friends and you are also
> popular, always willing to
> give advice and help out a person in need. You
> are very optimistic and
> you always see the bright side of things. Some
> good advice: try not to
> be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could
> cause many conflicts in
> your life.

i can deal with being elmo... i can. i like elmo, but i can't deal with popular and lots of friends. i have no friends. and optimistic??? i freakin spit on that! i'm one of the least optimistic people i know. there's not one single optimistic bone in my body!!! i thrive on pessimism! rraarrrr!!! hahhaha
-----Original Message-----
From: Pagliassotti, Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, January 16, 2007 6:52 AM
To: Jones, Lesley; Sule, Michelle; Steward, Kenneth; Burton, Alice
Cc: 'bayleeboo@msn.com'; 'marcia.nieto@ihop.com'; 'pauleensingh@yahoo.com'
Subject: FW: I am SpongeBob




Everyone has a personality of a cartoon
character.
Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon
character do you most
resemble
A group of investigators got together and
> analyzed the personalities of
> well known and modern cartoon characters.
> The information that was gathered was made into
> this test.
> > >
> Answer all the questions with what describes you
> best, add up all your
> Points (which are next to the answer that you
> choose) at the end and
> look for your results.
> > >
> Do not cheat by looking at the end of the e-mail
> before you are done.
> Then forward this to all your friends (including
> the person who sent it
> to you) and change the subject of this message
> to what character is
> you.
> > >
> 1. Which one of the following describes the
> perfect date?
> > > .a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
> > > .b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
> > > .c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
> > > .d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
> > > .e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)
> > >
> 2. What is your favorite type of music?
> > > .a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
> > > .b) Alternative (1 pt.)
> > > .c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
> > > .d) Country (5 pts.)
> > > .e) Pop (3 pts.)
> > >
> 3. What type of movies do you prefer?
> > > .a) Comedy (2 pts.)
> > > .b) Horror (1 pt.)
> > > .c) Musical (3 pts.)
> > > .d) Romance (4 pts.)
> > > .e) Documentary (5 pts.)
> > >
> 4. Which one of these occupations would you
> choose if you only could
> > > choose one of these?
> > > .a) Waiter (4 pts.)
> > > .b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
> > > .c) Teacher (3 pts.)
> > > .d) Police (2 pts.)
> > > .e) Cashier (1 pt)
> > >
> 5 . What do you do with your spare time?
> > > .a) Exercise (5 pts.)
> > > .b) Read (4 pts.)
> > > .c) Watch television (2 pts. )
> > > .d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
> > > .e) Sleep (3 pts.)
> > >
> 6. Which one of the following colors do you like
> best?
> > > .a) Yellow (1 pt.)
> > > .b) White (5 pts.)
> > > .c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
> > > .d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
> > > .e) Red (4 pts.)
> > >
> 7. What do you prefer to eat?
> > > .a) Snow (3 pts.)
> > > .b) Pizza (2 pts.)
> > > .c) Sushi (1 pt.)
> > > .d) Pasta (4 pts.)
> > > .e) Salad (5 pts.)
> > >
> 8 What is your favorite holiday?
> > > .a) Halloween (1 pt.)
> > > .b) Christmas (3 pts.)
> > > .c) New Year (2 pts.)
> > > .d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
> > > .e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)
> > >
> 9. If you could go to one of these places which
> one would it be?
> > > .a) Paris (4 pts)
> > > .b) Spain (5 pts)
> > > .c) Las Vegas (1 pt)
> > > .d) Hawaii (4 pt s)
> > > .e) Hollywood (3 pts)
> > >
> 10. With which of the following would you prefer
> to spend time with?
> > > .a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
> > > .b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
> > > .c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
> > > .d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
> > > .e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)
> > >
> Now add up your points and find out the answer
> you have been waiting
> for!
> > >
> Put your character in the subject line and
> forward to your friends and
> back to the person that sent this to you.
> > >
> Very interesting to see "who" your friends are!
> > >
> > >
> (10-16 points) You are Garfield :
> You are very comfortable, easy going, and you
> definitely know how to
> have fun but sometimes you take it to an
> extreme. You always know what
> you are doing and you are always in control of
> your life. Others may
> not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean
> that you always have to
> do what is right. Try to remember, your happy spirit
> may hurt you or others.
> > >
> (17-23 points) You are Snoopy:
> You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You
> always know what's in
> and you are never are out of style. You are good
> at knowing how to
> satisfy everyone else. You have probably
> disappeared for a few days
> more than once but you always come home with the
> family values that you
> learned. Being married and having children are
> important to you, but only
> after you have had your share of fun times.
> > >
> (24-28 points) You are Elmo:
> You have lots of friends and you are also
> popular, always willing to
> give advice and help out a person in need. You
> are very optimistic and
> you always see the bright side of things. Some
> good advice: try not to
> be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could
> cause many conflicts in
> your life.
> > >
> > >
> (29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants:
> You are the classic person that everyone loves.
> You are the best friend
> that anyone could ever have and never wants to
> lose. You never cause
> harm to anyone and they would never not
> understand your feelings. Life
> is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most
> part. Stay away from
> traitors and jealous people, and you will be
> stress free.
> > >
>(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown:
> You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you
> are also very serious
> about all relationships. You are a family
> person. You call your Mom
> every Sunday. You have many friends and may
> occasionally forget a few
> Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you
> with reality.
> > >
>(44-50 points) You are Dexter:
> You are smart and definitely a thinker... Every
> situation is fronted
> with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You
> demonstrate very strong
> family principles. You maintain a stable routine
> but never ignore a bad
> situation when it comes. Try to do less over
> thinking every once in a
> while to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!
> > >
> > >
> Now don't spoil it! Have some Fun!! Change the
> subject of the email to
> what you are and send it on


*****************************************************************

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A Conversation With Kenny

f all that dude... now you're just killing me. .... biblethumper. LMAO!

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:57 AM
Subject: RE:


you'll BELIEVE again.......no doubt in my mind....then it'll work
smile

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:56 AM
To: Steward, Kenneth
Subject: RE:


youre sweet. maybe one day it'll work for me. :)
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:50 AM
Subject: RE:


you crack me up....that's why i forward all those prayers to you LOL

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:47 AM
Subject: RE:


that's a good idea. i'll tell him you suggested it. lol

all joking aside though. i nearly killed him the other day when he came home and turned that television on. he couldn't have forseen
the reaction he got from me. he's been kissing my ass all weekend, but dude. honestly, does he's crazy if he thinks that'll work again.

i'm not even as bothered about the job thing. he moves his ass when it comes to finding work so even though i know we'll struggle
a little i know it won't be long before he has work again. it's the fact that we discussed it like mature adults and we both agreed that now
was not a good time. that he would wait until i finished my exam. now i got so freaked out all weekend long that i haven't been able to get
back into the swing of things. it's not going well for me. i'm fucking pissed!!! lol


-----Original Message-----
From:KS
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:34 AM
Subject: RE:


you should've taken away his video game priveleges too

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:32 AM
To: KS
Subject: RE:


wow, she quit because she was paranoid? smells like a lot of bullshit to me.

you know what i'm going to do? or rather what i'm not going to do? i'm not going to pay the utilities and the cable. that way when they turn everything off he'll know what it feels like. i'll leave him in charge of paying all that crap. problem is that i'm a control freak. ...you know, i'm not a
"control freak" as much as i'm a woman that doesn't let a man control her. that means i take care of the bills and all MY finances. i don't depend on him to get my shit paid you know? but he has to pay his way. and it's bullshit that i can't rely on him as a man.
besides. we had an agreement and he broke it. now i don't trust him.

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:47 AM
Subject: RE:


WHAT???? that's not to smart.....why?
sounds like a buddy of mine. they bot a house a few yrs back.
she worked at kaiser making $23.00 an hour....quit because
everyone in her dept spoke spanish and she always thought
they were talking about her....since then he's almost lost his
house MANY times.......

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:45 AM
To: KS
Subject: RE:



lordy.... "you decide who you let walk away" & "who you refuse to let go" i'm pretty much nearly there dude.

i haven't told anyone, but my husband quit a steady job at the worst time. i nearly left him this weekend. i'm not about
to start supporting any man.


A friend sent this to me...


> The first sentence is pretty powerful.
>
> God determines who walks into your life....
> it's up to you to decide who you let walk away,
> who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
> I need this back. If you'll do this for me,
> I'll do it for you....
> Father, God bless all my friends in whatever it is
> that You know they may be needing this day!
> And may their life be full of your peace,prosperity
> and power as they seek to have a closer relationship
> with you.
> Amen.
> __________________________________________________
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CardMatch

: "

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Get online games for your MySpace, BeBo or website at FunZac!

"
This game kicked butt! I loved it. It was short, but it was fun. I reached all the way to the end and earned the rank of King! hahhahaha beat my score bitches. :)

Solitaire

FunZac.com Play Master Solitaire Free Flash Online Game!: "

Play Master Solitaire Game

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"

Similar Minds Quiz

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 73% Stability 16% Orderliness 60% Accommodation 56% Interdependence 63% Intellectual 36% Mystical 10% Artistic 70% Religious 10% Hedonism 43% Materialism 30% Narcissism 30% Adventurousness 36% Work ethic 36% Self absorbed 16% Conflict seeking 70% Need to dominate 76% Romantic 70% Avoidant 36% Anti-authority 63% Wealth 10% Dependency 23% Change averse 63% Cautiousness 56% Individuality 30% Sexuality 76% Peter pan complex 23% Physical security 90% Physical Fitness 10% Histrionic 70% Paranoia 76% Vanity 30% Hypersensitivity 63% Female cliche 63%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.
Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
self revealing, neat, craves attention, prefers organized to unpredictable, needs things to be extremely clean, worrying, perfectionist, emotionally sensitive, respects authority, social, vain, does not like to be alone, likes large parties, controlling, social chameleon, not a thrill seeker, enjoys leadership, takes precautions, puts the needs of others ahead of their own, assertive, rule conscious, makes friends easily, always busy, heart over mind, phobic, aggressive, clingy, compassionate, dominant, outgoing, suspicious, hard working, strong

Russian Name

Click the link below and type your name in to find your Russian Name!!!

Atari Play

Play some old Atari titles for free online on Atari Play

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Joke of the Day

> THE HORTH WITHPERER

>
>Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend
>over to look at a horse.
>
>Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"
>
>That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."
>
>So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or
>female horse.
>
>"A female horth."
>
>So he shows him a prized filly.
>
>"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?
>
>Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
>
>"Nith eyeth, can I thee her eerzth"? So he picks the little fella up again,
>and shows him the horse's ears.
>
>"Nith eerzth, can I see her mouf"?
>
>The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up
>again and shows him the horse's mouth.
>
>"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?
>
>Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams
>the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and
>slams him on the ground.
>
>The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.
>
>"Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit."

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Blogthings - What Kind of Drunk Are You?: "

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

"

Fortune Cookie Generator

Blogthings - The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator: "

Your Fortune Is

A man can keep his youth, by giving her money, furs and diamonds.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

"

Blogthings - How Weird Are You?

Testing this thing out to see if the coding will show the results properly...

Blogthings - How Weird Are You?: "

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

"

Blogthings -

Blogthings - Welcome to Blogthings!

Will be using more of this in the future... maybe. lol

Rescue Run

Artifact Arcade: Rescue Run

Use the left and right arrow keys to move sideways and the up arrow key to jump.

When you collect a fire extinguisher you can use ctrl to fire.

Have fun boys and girls. :)

Starbase

Artifact Arcade: Starbase 6

This here game looks like fun. The objective is to regain control of the starbase from the robots. There are six sections to go through to reach starbase control.

Each section has two levels. There are 12 levels in total. Use the arrow keys to move up down left and right. You can press down while on a bridge to drop to the level below.

Collect all 6 section of the pass card to open the gateway tot he next level.

Have fun. :)

Topsy Turvy Balls

SuperArcade.com Video Game Arcade

This game is really fun and super easy. You have to click on ball clusters of 3 or more to score points. My hand is killing me and I shouldn't be doing it, but it's worth it. :)

I'm going to regret this.

Have fun!!!

Mahjongg

SuperArcade.com Video Game Arcade

I love Mahjongg. I could play this all day long. I stupidly went to Chinatown once just to buy a set for myself. Of course it wasn't the greatest idea ever. Rigid did try to play with me, bless him. It just sucks playing when you know you should have 4 people or 4 teams. *sigh* Ah well. Online Mahjongg is fun though.

If you've never played it it's kind of like a matching game only way better. :)

Enjoy~ Maha

Glinx

Glinx

This is also a fun game. You just have to click on the matching pieces to form a chain then click on the last piece to remove those pieces from the board. Remove them all to complete a level.

Flash / Pac-Man

Flash / Pac-Man

Woohoo! Who doesn't love pacman. :) Ah, this game brings back so many memories.

Flash � Save the Sheep

Flash � Save the Sheep

Okay, I killed my sheet like 5 times before I'd even gotten started, but once I figured it out I had fun. My score sucked, but I got 5588 points.

Enjoy~ Maha

Brood Arcade

This is the arcade. You'll find several small games you can play in here. This is my home away from home... My own special game room. Whenever I'm feeling a little nostalgic I'll come in here and play a game or two.

Enjoy

Maha

Grand Prix Challenge!

Grand Prix

Take the Grand Prix Challenge. On my first lap i scored 300 Damage Points and a Time Bonus of 3616.

Beat me for 10 pts
5 pts for participating.

Othello/Reversi

Reversi

Play a little game of reversi courtesy of the Artifact Arcade for some extra points.

5 pts

Personal Survey

Important Note: Please format your survey as text to post into the comments section. You will be unable to post html. The option will be presented at the end of the survey.

Monday Meme 38 : 2006-02-06 : True Colors

1. From where you are sitting right now, list an object that is one of each of the following colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, white and black.

I'm sitting at my desk working...I can see the sun from my window 24 floors up. There are green trees and bushes in offices, purple & blue post it's and little yellow sign & date stickers. The black frame in front of me is holding my husbands picture and there's a blue wooden clock facing away from me that doesn't work. There's a tiny orange glass flower in a white vase given to me by an old friend.

2. What color do you wear most often? Why?

I mostly wear black. Probably because it's the easiest thing to wear for me. No thought process involved.

3. What color are your eyes? What color do you wish they were?

Brown. ....I don't wish my eyes were any other color. I like my eyes. I suppose if I could choose another color though I'd choose green or grey....or both.

4. What color is your desktop image?

It's blue. Those are the colors of the business I work for.

5. What colors are you walls and floor?

The colors of the walls around me are off white and the floor is a medium brown carpet.

I was the 1,100st person to take this week's Monday Meme!

What's Your Jack-O-Lantern Face?

discover your jack-o-lantern face @ quiz me

I know it's a little early, but I couldn't help myself. This quiz was super cute and fun to do. My pumpkin is adorable.

5 pts

What Dog Breed Would You Be?

discover your dog breed @ quiz meme

Sometimes I like to be a little silly. I love wasting time doing these little quizzes. Tell us what dog breed you'd be and share in the fun. :)

5 points